Saturday, August 15, 2009

it never ends.

no matter what i feel before this ma..
my love for you has never ever get lesser..
no matter how empty i feel when i am at home now..
i am still there kan..because i love you.
i know i am often silence but that is because i dont want to say the things i've always wanted to tell you..
i dont want to hurt you..but i can feel that ur sad because of me. i am sorry mama.

i feel like writing these long time ago but then only now i've found the right things to say.
this week has been a rather emotional week for me.
its a mix of both happiness n sadness.
i often feel that i hurt my mother by acting the way i have been.
my parents have brought me up well.
that's why i love them both, equally.
but then all the rough times we have been through has effected me in some ways that i could not be in a place that is full with stress and anger. i just cant.
now, whenever i am in that situation i just feel empty, i feel sad and i'll do any work half heartedly.
that is why no matter how sad or down i am, i'll try to put a smile on my face.
because that is the only cure. just smile because if i follow the whisper of my sadness, then sadness is what i'll get, but if i put on a smile no matter what, its happiness that i'll get.
and that is just what i need.
i just watched talentime just now, and it makes me feel all this emotions because that story contains so much love for family and also surroundings.
blame that story for making me so emotional rite now.
i like this part when melor's adik is brushing her hair and melor said she dont feel like singing that night and her adik said this to her: you have to,because you're in pain, more better time to be brilliant.
gile kan, like so powerful the words used in that story, may Allah bless Yasmin Ahmad for being such a brilliant storyteller.

senyum je, life will never always be as u wish ain, kamon be strong.

=)ain, hope for more oh so brighter days.